Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
