oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dignity is for republicans.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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