Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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