Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
