My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
