i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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