I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
