yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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