I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
