Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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