my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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