oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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