I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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