it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
