just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
