can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
