I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
