Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
