Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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