Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
