u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
