This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
