By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize