I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
