I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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