Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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