I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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