the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
