amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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