I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Shame - the story of my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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