Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Randomize
