Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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