whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
