Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
did i just pee glitter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
