I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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