why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
