You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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