she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
