it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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