He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize