Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

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(810): View more from Michigan

I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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(785): View more from Kansas

this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln

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(416): View more from Toronto

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...

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(224): View more from Illinois

alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now

(1-224): View more from Illinois

It's five in the morning. wtf?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.

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