Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
