bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
