To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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