so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize