I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
