Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
