She's JV to your varsity
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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