You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
