well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
