I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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