Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize