This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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