I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
