I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
