For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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