every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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