absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
