hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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