It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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