Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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