I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
