what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
